Change?
by That Elusive Reader
Summary: "Don't you ever feel as if you need to change?" her voice penetrated my thoughts. "No," I answered shortly. "I don't need to change. Everything is fine the way it is." Lily remembers her life with Petunia.


"Don't you ever feel as if you need to change?" her voice penetrated my thoughts.

"No," I answered shortly. "I don't need to change. Everything is fine the way it is." I placed my pen on the paper, thinking carefully about what to write.

"I think the world would be a better place if things changed," she answered, staring up at the ceiling. "You know what I mean."

"No, I don't," I answered harshly, wishing she would stop pestering me.

"Yes, you do! Like if you and Ja—" began my best friend.

I jumped up, spilling the notebook and pens off of my lap and onto the wooden floor. "THAT WILL NEVER HAPPEN! IF ME AND POTTER END UP TOGETHER I WILL DIE! THINGS HAVE ALREADY CHANGED TOO MUCH!" I yelled, and stormed off, trying to get away from the traitor of my best friend. How did life end up like this?! Things used to be so simple and easy. But that was before anything ever bad happened. It seemed as though I was in the perfect world. But then I just had to be different. I guess my world began to die when I was nine. That was when I first met a different person.

I remembered that first time I had found out that I was special, that I had a talent that Tuney didn't have.

* * *

"_Lily! Stop it! It's not natural!" cried a brunette in front of me. The girl swatted the object out of my hand and flipped around, grabbing my wrist with her steel hands. "Mummy told you that you shouldn't do that!" She forced me down on a swing. _

"_But Tuney, I didn't want this, it's just what I'm meant to be," I answered, staring at the trees in front of me. _

_She huffed, but after a second, she spoke, "Lily, do you ever wish that things could go back before you changed?"_

_I turned to my sister. "Of course I do Tuney, but it wasn't meant to be. God has different plans for us. I just wish that we could look past this, and maybe, still be friends?" I held her hands. She looked away. _

"_Fine, but…" Tuney began. I shrieked in delight and jumped onto my swing and began to swing higher than I had ever before. Tuney looked worriedly up at me. "Lily, don't do it!" she cried. I laughed, but went through with the trick anyway. She dragged her sandals in the sand to stop herself and ran over to me. "Mummy told you not to!"I giggled. _

"_Mummy said you weren't allowed, Lily!" she huffed. _

"_But I'm fine," I answered, still laughing. "Tuney, look at this. Watch what I can do!" Tuney glanced around. I picked up a dead flower and held it out when she could clearly see it. It opened and closed its petals. _

"_Stop it!" she shrieked. _

"_It's not hurting you!" I shouted, throwing it on the ground. _

"_It's not right," she answered, but her eyes glanced at the flowers, betraying her thoughts. "How do you do it?" The longing was evident in her voice. _

"_It's obvious, isn't it?" a greasy boy jumped out from behind the bushes where the two of us were standing. Tuney ran away, but I stayed where I was, wondering who this boy was. _

"_What's obvious?" I asked. _

"_I know what you are," he whispered. _

"_What do you mean?" I asked, curious. What was I?_

"_You're…you're a witch," he whispered. _

_I scowled. "That's not a very nice thing to say to somebody!" I tossed my long hair over my shoulder and walked determinedly over to Tuney. _

"_No!" he cried. "You are! You are a witch. I've been watching you for a while. But there's nothing wrong with that. My mum's one, I'm a wizard." Tuney laughed behind me. _

"_Wizard!" shrieked Tuney. "I know who you are. You're that Snape boy! They live down Spinner's End by the river. Why have you been spying on us?"_

"_Haven't been spying," he said uncomfortably. "Wouldn't spy on you, anyway, you're a Muggle." Neither of us understood what he meant, but we both knew it was some horrid word. _

"_Lily, come one, we're leaving!" she cried shrilly. I glared back at that boy and followed my sister home._

* * *

It had all seemed like a new life, I could do anything—be anyone. But I discovered when I first started talking to him, it all came at a price. When I found this life, the one with people and friends other than family, came at the price of my relationship with my sister. She abandoned me when I got that letter.

I bumped into someone.

"Sorry," I muttered, but upon seeing who it was, I turned quickly away, and began almost full out running in the opposite way.

"Wait up, Lily!" he cried.

"I don't want to talk to you…Snivillus!" I cried, breaking out into a full out run out to the grounds. I didn't care that it was only two weeks into the school year. I didn't care that I was running from something that I'd have to go back to eventually. I didn't look back as I crossed the entrance hall and went out to the grounds. I slowed to a walk as I went past the green houses.

* * *

"_Why did you give me this flower?" asked Petunia, holding up the crystal flower that I had made at Hogwarts. _

_I swallowed. Here goes nothing. "I thought that maybe, we could have another go…you know, at actually being siblings, not just two people who live in the same house together. Mum and Dad, sensing that this was something we needed to talk about alone, left the room to "Bathroom, very sudden need of a bathroom" or "The cookies must be almost done". I watched her expression, it was contorted with rage, fear, longing, and a little bit of hope. _

_She sighed. "Look, Lily, I was wrong, you know, about you being a freak. You aren't half as bad as you were when we were younger." I smiled, maybe my sister could talk sense, even if it was only once and awhile. "I guess we could try it, for a little while." My face broke into a humungous smile, and I hugged my sister so tightly I thought she might burst. _

"_Lily!" she laughed. "Watch out for the ribs!" I grinned at her and pulled away slightly. _

"_You just made this my best Christmas ever!" I said lovingly. _

"_And you mine," said Petunia, grinning, and she hugged me back. _

* * *

I found myself next to the beach tree, out on the grounds, next to the lake. Maybe it was fate that brought me here. I traced the heart with my name and James's in it, on the bark of the old tree. It seemed as though I was too thick for my own good, too wanting of the past. Maybe some things do need to change.

I sat down and watched the water, remembering what my sister had told me, back in fifth year.

* * *

"…_AND WHAT DID YOU DO!? NOTHING! I SWEAR! WHEN THOSE…THOSE, PEOPLE CAME UP TO THE HOUSE, I THOUGHT THAT IT WAS THE END OF THE WORLD! Lily, how could you let them die?" asked my sister, who was yelling at me in the living room of the Dursleys. I was sitting on a too comfortable plush chair, watching as Petunia vented off steam. _

_I reached out and grabbed her hand, pulling her down next to me. "Look, Tuney, I did the best I could. I didn't know that they would kill them! I barely know how to Apparate! Please believe me when I say that it's the best that I can do!" I pleaded. _

"_Lily! I wish I could! But you brought this upon us! Just leave! Leave before I kill you! I don't want to see you again!" she screamed. I shook my head. _

"_Petunia, think about what you're saying. Please. Just this once, have a heart."_

"_No."_

"_Fine. But today you've lost your sister and your parents. At least with a sister, there would be someone else to help you. Someone else to help you figure things out," I said coldly, standing up. "Think of this day as the day that you lost a sister, but I'll always think of it as the day I lost all of my family. You've abandoned me here. And I don't want you back if you're just going to yell at me." I spun on my heel before she scream at me again. I stood on the doorstep of my best friend's house. More of a mansion. _

_I was glad that she had taken me there during the Easter Hols, now I knew where she lived. I knocked on the door, hoping she would answer, not him. _

_As the door opened, it showed the face of a boy who looked exactly like my best friend. _

_He opened the door and leaned against it, officially blocking the way into the house. _

"_So you're finally seeing sense, eh Lily?" he asked. _

"_No, Potter, I'm not. I'm here to see your parent's and Jen," I answered boldly. _

"_You sure you don't want to say something to me…something starting with a 'y' and ending with a 's'?" he taunted me. _

"_NO!" I yelled. "I HATE YOU SO GET OVER YOURSELF POTTER!" I felt tears beginning to form in my eyes. "JUST GET OUT OF MY WAY!" I pushed past him, leaving him with my trunk and a black night. _

_I found Jen on the stairs. She looked exactly like Potter, except nicer. _

"_Hey Lils! What are you—What's the matter! I heard you yelling!" she cried, embracing me. Her parents appeared in the doorway to the kitchen. I sobbed loudly into Jen's shoulder. _

"_They don't move anymore!" I screamed. "They won't ever breathe!"_

"_Who, Lily?" she whispered. _

"_MY PARENTS!" the words sounded animal even to my own ears. "They're dead! They KILLED them!" My voice and sobs echoed throughout the hallway. "TUNEY ABANDONED ME FOR A WALRUS!" _

_Laughter was muffled from the hallway, but I knew who was laughing. _

"_She said that I KILLED THEM! I DIDN'T KILL THEM!" I yelled, my voice felt horse from my yells. _

_Jen rocked me back and forth on the steps. She shot him a glare telling him to back off._

"_It's alright Lily, everything's going to turn out alright," she said, her voice barely audible over my screams of sorrow. _

"_She told me she would kill me," I whispered, bringing my sobs under control. "She won't let me go to the funeral. She won't let me do anything! She said I should be DEAD!"_

_The word echoed around the hall, sounding like an animal was trying to escape my throat. I felt another set of arms around me, and I saw Mrs. Potter's face joining her daughter's. _

"_You can stay here," he voice said. "We'll take care of you."_

_I sniffed loudly. _

_James came up behind his mother and frowned lopsidedly. _

"_You know, Lily, I think that your sister is a batty old lady," he said loudly. I laughed through my tears. I threw off the arms of the women and attacked James with a hug. _

"_Thank you Potter," I laughed, smiling at the wall behind him. I felt him hesitate before he returned the hug. He was probably grinning like mad. I broke away and stood shakily in front of the Potters. _

"_Thank you all," I said, grinning through my tears. _

"_It's the least we can do," Mr. Potter answered, putting an arm around his grinning son._

* * *

"Lils?" asked a voice behind me. "Err…do you think I could sit down?" I looked up and saw James standing there. I nodded shakily, still remembering that day.

"What were you thinking of?" he asked quietly after awhile.

"The day I first hugged you," I said, grinning through my light tears.

He cocked an eyebrow. "Really? I seem to remember that I was transported to hell that day."

I laughed. "I don't know, you looked like you were in heaven for a moment."

"Yea, well, that didn't last long with you and Jen around," he laughed, leaning back.

"We were always retorting because of you and your gang," I laughed.

He grinned at me. "We were protecting ourselves from murderous sisters."

"Really James?" asked Jen, coming out of the shadows. She must have followed me to the lake, like her brother. As I say, like sister, like brother. "We aren't all that murderous." Her eyes danced in delight.

"Jeeze Jen, just because you have me as a role model for you, doesn't mean that you can badger me up the hill," he laughed.

"How have we managed to keep a roof over our heads all these years?" I asked.

"Hogwarts manages well enough, and as does Mum," said Jen, leaning against my shoulder so I was like a Potter sandwich.

"I've always wondered how ole Hoggy does it. You know, with the three of us versus the Slytherins," said James, staring up at the majestic castle.

"And the two of us against you Potter," I muttered.

"Probably put up spells to deflect all of your ugliness," Jen answered.

"Oh cut it out you two, before you pull out your wands," I said, throwing an arm around the both of them. "How will we ever manage outside of Hogwarts?"

"The three of us, Mum, and Dad. We'll be as cozy as can be," said James, putting his arm around me. I shrugged it off.

"Yea, I was thinking about that," I said, staring out at the lake again. "What happens if you know, they die too. Then what will we do." I shuddered. "I don't think I can stand losing another set of parents."

"You know Lily, even if they do die, we'll always be together. I promise we won't pull a Petunia on you, and that we'll always be the Potters and Evans, even if you won't go out with me and change your last name to Potter," said James, grinning slightly. It had become more of a joke than anything. An old joke to remind them of old times.

Jen laughed and I gave a half-hearted attempt at one. Jen noticed this and immediately jumped up.

"Well, see you two around, there goes Sirius. Gotta go!" she cried happily and ran over to a lone Sirius, whom she immediately hugged and dragged away from the two of us.

James chuckled. "Whatever does she want with Sirius?" he wondered aloud.

"Oh they're probably placing bets on how and when we get together," I said.

"How would you know?" he asked, suddenly shocked.

"Oh, I found betting slips under Jen's bed. Don't worry, not too many, and it was only that she'd have to do random things with Sirius if she lost the bets," I said.

"Really? What were some of them?" he asked.

"My favorite was that you'd fall on top of me during a Quidditch match and I'd immediately kiss you," I laughed, shifting away slightly from him.

He laughed. "I wouldn't fall…normally that is. For a lass like you, I just might." I blushed. "Would you grant me a date, o marvelous Lily?"

"Of course Sir James," I mocked him, but not with the answer.

"That's fine, it's just that I really—wait, you said yes?" he asked, jumping up and pulling me up too.

"Do I have to answer?" I asked.

"Yes," he persisted.

"Yes," I muttered before I pressed my lips to his.

Across the lake I heard a "THAT'S IT PRONGS MATE!" and a "FINALLY! YOU KNOW HOW LONG I'VE WAITED FOR THIS?!"

I grinned when we finally pulled apart.

"You know, this might just be the happiest birthday of my life," I said, blushing. He laughed and answered, "It's not your birthday."

"What are dates? I declare it's my birthday," I said.

"And that crazy Lily is what I love," he muttered before kissing me again.

I heard once that humans are fragile, but at the same time, they are incredibly strong. And if you get hurt, the injuries just stay around until you face them, but if you do face them, the heal with time. That's what I heard. My world was a big blank page because everything that I cared about in my life had gone. But it's not always a bad thing, to start over. Sometimes it's the biggest blessing in the world, to have your world rewritten. That's what happened to me and look where I stand…with a very handsome boy at my side.

**A/N: If this is at all confusing just ask. See, Jenica Potter (Jen) is James's twin sister, I know he didn't have any siblings, but I just really like her. And Lily's friends all hate James's friends and that's basically it. If you have any questions just ask! Aye Aye?**


End file.
